Mount Rushmore: Four Giant Faces No One Asked For

 

The Basics: America’s Most Overrated Cliff Sculpture

Mount Rushmore. It’s a massive chunk of rock with four dead presidents’ faces carved into it. Because when you’ve got a perfectly good mountain, why not deface it with some enormous heads? Built between 1927 and 1941, this bizarre tribute to American leadership is a great example of how to turn nature into a billboard.

The four presidents—George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln—were chosen because, apparently, they represent the “birth, growth, development, and preservation of the United States.” Or, more accurately, they were the four they could fit without having to build another mountain.

The Construction: A Carving Job That Got Out of Hand

The man behind the project, sculptor Gutzon Borglum, originally wanted the sculpture to include the presidents from the waist up. But since carving an entire mountain apparently takes ages and is a nightmare for your budget, they settled for just the heads. It’s probably for the best—Mount Rushmore already looks like a massive art project that got abandoned halfway through. Adding torsos would have just made it look like a group of colossal, shirtless men staring into the void.

Over 400 workers spent 14 years chiselling away at the mountain using dynamite and drills. And in a brilliant display of irony, not one of them was immortalised on the cliff face. Imagine working for over a decade on a giant monument, only for the entire credit to go to four men who were already dead.

The Controversy: Stolen Land with Bonus Faces

Here’s the fun bit: the land Mount Rushmore sits on was originally part of the sacred Black Hills belonging to the Lakota Sioux tribe. The US government signed a treaty in 1868, promising the land would belong to the Sioux forever. Then, naturally, they found gold and immediately took the land back. Classic.

So, not only did the US carve four presidents’ faces into stolen land, they chose presidents who were involved in policies that displaced Native Americans. It’s like invading someone’s house, putting up a massive portrait of yourself over their fireplace, and then charging them to come and look at it.

The Original Plan: Even More Faces

Believe it or not, the original plan for Mount Rushmore was even more ridiculous. Borglum wanted to add a giant inscription listing major events in US history, as if the mountain wasn’t already busy enough. Apparently, he wasn’t content with four enormous faces—he wanted to turn the entire mountain into a stone textbook.

They also considered adding Susan B. Anthony or another significant historical figure, but in the end, they stuck with four presidents. Because, you know, if you’re going to permanently vandalise a mountain, you may as well play it safe.

The Legacy: A Monument to Questionable Choices

Today, Mount Rushmore is one of the most famous landmarks in the US, attracting over two million tourists a year. People travel from all over the world to stare at four massive faces for about five minutes before heading to the gift shop. It’s the ultimate symbol of American excess: unnecessarily big, built on stolen land, and slightly pointless.

Still, it’s impressive in its own ridiculous way. After all, how often do you get to see four huge stone heads glaring into the distance, silently judging your life choices? And for that, Mount Rushmore will forever remain a giant, rocky reminder that sometimes, humans just can’t leave nature alone.